Starting over

I feel sick. I started this blog a year and a half ago weighing 13 stone 5. I weighed myself this morning at 13 stone 4. I worked so hard to lose more than two stone. More. Than. Two. Stone. And where did it get me? No fucking where.

I've just re-read a post where I was 8 lbs from 10 stone 10. 8 lbs. Just 8 tiny pounds. Now here I am, 28 lbs away from that. What a waste. A waste of time, effort, everything. I'm disgusted with myself. I know how I got here though and I know how to get back. Now I just have to get back.

On the plus side, I'm a fitter 13 stone 4. I'm about to run a half marathon and I can see that the fat sits differently on my body than it did last time around. God, last time around I swore I'd never see these numbers again. Well.

I've done it before, I can do it again. Here goes. 13 stone 4 and counting down. Again.

40 days to turn my life around.

I've got a plan. I've got a good plan that would make me happy, that's realistic and doable and would lead me to be able to say, when I'm 90 years old and reflective, that I've lived a life that's full. And yet, I'm not doing any of that. I attribute a lot more than I probably should to my weight and how it affects my life. I feel like I can't get anywhere with the excess weight and weight problem that I have and the fact that I spend a lot of money on bingeing! Lent starts tomorrow (as far as I'm concerned ;-) ) and I'm taking this as a 40 days to get a hold on my life. Break the back of the weight I have left to lose and with a new order in my life be able to move ahead with my other plans. And maybe get laid. Just throwing that out there ;-)
My plans. I'm going to gather my strength and resistance (especially as hormones are NOT on my side right now) and give up desirous things, as is tradition with Lent. These things will help me avoid temptation and with Lent as my willpower I hope that I can last.
What I am giving up, in black and white: crisps, popcorn, bread, packaged chocolate bars, donuts, pastries, cakes and cookies that I haven't baked myself, rice and pasta that contains gluten, any food from a Fast Food restaurant. Processed carbs and sugars basically. I think these things will help to curb my cravings and binges. I really, really hope so.
What I will be doing: eating plenty of meat, vegetables and fruit. I will go to the gym three times a week and run three times a week until the end of March. Then I'm going to take up a Karate class and join a new gym. I'm going to do it this time, I really am!
Bring it on. I need to do this.

2014's beginning - week 1 again

In the hope that it is a temporary regain due to no exercise and crappy (mostly dairy-filled) eating,  I'm not going to change my tickers. 6lb seems a bit much to me just to be a temp Christmas regain bit realistically I haven't been to the gym at all, I've only been running twice and I've been eating, well, constantly. Also dairy really fucks me up so probably 1 or 2 lbs is dairy bloating. Here's to getting back on the weight loss wagon and starting my healthy cooking today!

2014. Ploughing on. Week 1 will restart this weekend.

I'm going to weigh myself this weekend, when the multiple Christmas/NYE food babies have cleared, and I'll start my plan from there. I'm going to make this the year of pounds - both losing and gaining. I'm going to get rid of that last 2 stone, and I'm going to get a better paid job and finally make the money I need to get where I want to be. Finally this will be the year of MEN! Boyfriends, casual acquaintances, online dating... whatever. It will happen. In just 8 lbs (well, before Christmas ;-) ) I will be 10 stone 10, my original goal and I will have no excuses for finding a boyfriend. None.
Those, then, are my three New Year's Resolutions. 1) Lose the last 25 lbs FOREVER. 2) Make enough money to enable me to live out my dreams and not worry so much about money all the time. 3) Find a boyfriend. Or just any male that is interested in me not just as a means to speak to my more attractive friends.
They are certainly all doable. Well, except the last one might be a bit out of my control. I can certainly do my best.
I just looked up how much weight I had to lose and I was surprised it was 25 lbs. I thought it was 30 something. 25 lbs is nothing. Certainly nothing compared to the 62 lbs I've already lost! If I could lose 2 lbs a week then I could have lost that in 3 months and 1 week. Around April Fools Day I could be there. If that isn't motivation then I don't know what is! I'm going to look up calorie allowances and recipes now and tomorrow so that I can plan my eating and exercise. I want to set losing 8 lbs in January as my first kickstarter goal. I'm going to have to start January from Monday 6th January, but that still gives me 4 weeks before February starts, and I can lose 2 lbs a week. I have to.
I'm going to apply for at least 4 new better paid jobs before I go back to work on Monday. I'm also going to apply for at least 4 part-time jobs that I could do for extra income. I'm young and intelligent and determined and hard-working and I should be doing something that reflects that. Bring. It. On.
With a new body, new job, new healthy lifestyle, new positivity and determination to fulfil my future plans I'm sure that I will be in a better position physically and mentally to meet new people. I'm going to do it. I can't keep wasting my time and the time of my future soul mate! He must be looking for me too, right?

Three New Year's Resolutions that I can certainly keep. On 1st January 2015 I will read this back and be satisfied and proud at the things I have achieved. I will be anticipating wintery snuggles with my new boyfriend and enjoying all the things my slim, svelte and healthy self can do with the wads of money I will have from my new job. It's all doable.

So, 2015 me, how did I do? Are we happy? That's all I want to be.

It is time now to do my (more than) 2 stone lost review!!! I can certainly see the differences appearing. I can't wait to do it again when I'm down to my original goal weight. So exciting!

Here are the progress photos:

And now the Comparison Photos. This shows a two stone 1 lb weight loss. 13 stone 5 on the right and 12 stone 4 on the left  :

The only difference Is the front and back photos are from 13 stone 1 as I didn't think to do those pics when I started. Phew, what a difference!

Week 47

I've had a few weeks of bad period-related  bingeing and general illness and malaise. I've tried really hard to control myself and to balance out binges. I've skipped a lot of exercise too and felt worse for it. Exercise is now an important part of my life and it really affects my mood and behaviours positively. I've even had a weekend away with friends and bought a dress. I even wore the dress in public!!! I had some positive weight loss comments that made me feel good. I'd noticed my arms looking a little slimmer and I decided to do one last weigh in before I turn my scales in until 2014. And I got a little Christmas surprise: 11 stone 4! Only 8 lbs left to my original goal and my target to start online dating. If I can get on top of a new year health resumption I could lose that in just January. Just 8lbs left until I have lost 5 stone. I'm so happy and proud.
My holiday eating plan is to stay as healthy as I can until Christmas Eve. From Christmas Eve dinner until Boxing Day lunch I'm going to eat whatever I want with no guilt. I'll keep my exercise up and start off my cooking kick for the new year. My new years resolutions revolve around weight loss and saving money. I hope to keep it up. Happy holidays everyone!